... those words were a random quote from SP earlier today. He doesn't know it, but they've brought us both to tears over the course of the day. How do you explain to a two year old that baby might not be able to play with him? That baby might be going to heaven much earlier than the rest of us? Aand when do you explain something like that?
I could equally have titled this post "I hate rollercoasters". Always have - the big two-loop coaster at Dreamworld, the mine-cart ride, no fun at all. Being at the back end of an aircraft 30 kft above the Pacific Ocean with 140 km/hr winds buffetting is less than pleasant. Being in the back seat of a single engine Cessna when the instructor teaches the student a mid-air restart gives you a definite sinking feeling.
Well the last 12 hours has given us plenty of ups and downs. I'll try and go through them all here, but I may miss one or two.
The day started off positively enough, with signs that Petrina might have been able to come home this afternoon. But that didn't last long, when we then heard that the Drs wanted two full days for the drugs to work before doing the scan.
The next up came when the registrar spoke to the "big boss" and shortly after Petrina was scheduled for a 10:00am scan. Just sneaking in between outpatients, but the hope of coming home was back.
Then the scan.
It started OK, with just a simple ectopic beat (like SP had, and apparently most of us have from time to time). But it didn't take long for the irregular beats to show up. And all the oedema is still there.
They let Petrina out for a few minutes while consulting with the cardiologist, which is when I came in to the hospital. After some additional checks on the ultrasound, we learned that Petrina would have to stay in until at least Monday, when they will do another scan with the cardiologist present (I think). Given that we were starting to prepare for an emergency delivery, this was relatively good news.
The specialist doing the ultrasound said that right now it looks bleak, but in the womb surrounded by prayer was definitely the best place for baby to be. There is a small chance that it will die in-utero, but less chance that if we delivered now.
All I can say is thankfully the day didn't end there. Petrina has a great job working at the Mater's Growth and Development unit, where she rubs shoulders with some world class physios, psychs, and paediatricians. One of those doctors was able to come up and talk through the scan results and what might be ahead of us.
The summary of that discussion is:
- The drugs Petrina is on haven't taken effect yet. And even if they had, it's normally 7-10 days to see results.
- The cause of the irregular beat and the oedema may be linked, but not necessarily. Apparently oedema is usually associated with anemia. We'd assumed that the oedema occurred as a result of the heart failing to keep up. But, it should still clear as the heart gets back into rhythm and gets stronger.
- Because the heart is not working properly, there's a chance that the baby may have some form of disability.
So, we're back to a wait and see case. Petrina's in until Monday at the earliest, and that assumes the drugs come up to effective levels soon enough to show results in the scan.
Thank you for your prayers so far. We're finding things pretty draining emotionally. Please keep praying for us to trust God completely and that the scan on Monday will show that the drugs are starting to have the desired effect.